so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
