i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize