Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
