He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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