You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
