Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Randomize
