i just google imaged poop.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
