She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
