went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
