I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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