You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
