Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
