So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
