Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
