Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
