I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
