I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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