Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
