It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
