I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
