I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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