I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
