omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
