How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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