dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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