he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
