I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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