butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
