It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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