I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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