Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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