ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
