I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
