She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
