i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
