idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I have feelings that need drinking.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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