so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize