u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
