In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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