did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
