we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
