i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
