I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
