Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
im six kinds of drunk right now
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize