How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Liz is crying about burritos again.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
