He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
it's like iHOP with fire
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
