One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
