the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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