Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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