Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
