So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
A bitchslap is in order.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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