my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Your cock deserves a montage
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize