My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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