How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize