My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
