At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
