It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
