I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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