Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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