If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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