How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
