How'd it feel making her break her religion?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
