alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
