I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize