Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
this hospital has no fireball
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
