Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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