My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
