youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
