you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Did I show you my penis last night?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
