all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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