god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
