just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
ttyl tear gas
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
