..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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